
Best posts made by Kalo
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The Abandoned Golem, Part 1
"It's broken! Just let it rust. Useless damned thing."
With that, the two farmhands let go of the golem. The metal being sank further into the earth.
The farmer nodded his head towards the fields, silently indicating to the farmhands to get back to work. He then followed behind them. "I shoulda never listened to that Kohese merchant. Miraculous living metal! It has less brains than a two-assed ox, and gets in twice the shit that thing." He chuckled, if a bit bitterly.
The golem stared emptily at the retreating men. Mud bubbled over its head, and soon it was entirely sunken beneath the ground.
Rain pitter-pattered on the half exposed body of the golem. Its body was caked in grime and muck, but despite its age it was remarkably rust free. Its eyes brightly flashed. The golem's gaze quickly went across the landscape, then to the sky, then down to itself. The rapid movement of its pupils ceased.
Who... am I?
The golem flinched as a sharp bolt of pain struck his head.
Fucking useless! Worthless metal beast.
The golem looked to his left side. Laying in the mud was a broken nub of a forearm. He lifted it to his face, and he examined the jagged edge at the elbow. He looked to his right side. Though he was still mostly submerged under the mud, the cavity in his shoulder clearly indicated a missing arm.
Use... less?
Yooose lesssss.
Yoosliss!I am Yoosliss.
With a heave Yoosliss lifted his torso out of the ground. He instinctively reached his left arm to the earth, but there was no hand to catch it. He fell to the side, and his face splashed into the mud. The golem groaned. The noise resonated in his hollow chest. He raised himself up again, this time more slowly to avoid making use of his arms in what must be an old habit. Slowly, he worked his legs free from the dirt as well. Yoosliss took another look at himself. Aside from the layer of grime covering him - and the obvious lack of arms - he was in good condition. His legs only barely squeaked! He shook himself in a half-hearted attempt to remove the mud caked on every surface of his body, but it was to little success. He managed to dislodge a snail that had been making its way across his torso, but the eerily glowing mushrooms on his shoulders and backside were quite comfortable remaining in their current residence.
Yoosliss walked towards a nearby hill. Hopefully its overhang would provide some relief from the onslaught of the rain. He mulled over his newly adopted name, trying each new intonation as if it were a garment one were trying on for size. With each vocalization, the mushrooms on him flashed. The golem was too distracted to notice, however.
Yooo ooo slesss.
Yööslis!
Useless. -
RE: Astronomy of Candarion
@Ari said in Astronomy of Candarion:
It would certainly be interesting to have different realms find different constellations in their night skies. perhaps we could make something like a universal night sky as in a randomly generated field of dots.
Something like this?
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Domoutsan Mushroom Curry
Presenting Candarion's first edible lore post!
No online recipe would be complete without 3 pages of fluff beforehand, though! This story begins (after a short break to figure out how to cancel the auto-play video) long ago in my childhood, as my beloved Mami and Papi and the Fungal Hivemind watching over us all taught me this TASTY and DELICIOUS classic Domoutsan recipe...
Spice Mix
- 1/2 tsp (2.5 ml) Fennel Seed
- 1/2 tsp (2.5 ml) Cumin
- 1/2 tsp (2.5 ml) White Pepper
- 1/2 tsp (2.5 ml) Black Pepper
- 1" (2.5 cm) stick of Cinnamon
- 1 Clove
- 1 sliver of Orange Peel
- 1/2 (2.5 ml) tsp Coriander
- 1/2 (2.5 ml) tsp Peanut Butter
- 1/4 (1 ml) tsp Mustard
- 1/4 (1 ml) tsp Kosher Salt
- 2 cloves of Garlic, minced
- 1 nub of Ginger, minced
- 1/2 cup (250 ml) Milk
- 1/4 cup (125 ml) Yogurt
- OPTIONAL: substitute yogurt/milk with the same amounts Cream of Mushroom Soup / Water for more authentic Domoutsan flavor, or with Coconut / Water if you prefer a dairy free version
Other
- 1 tsp (2.5 ml) Cooking Oil (canola, sesame, or ghee)
- 1/2 Onion
- 12oz (340g) can of Diced Tomato
- 1 Bay Leaf
- 1/4 tsp (1 ml) Chili Powder
- 1/4 tsp (1 ml) Salt
- 1/4 tsp (1 ml) Pepper
- 8 oz (225 g) Mushrooms
- 1/4 (1 ml) tsp Lime Juice
- Steamed rice
Equipment
- Stovetop
- Cooking Pan
- Mortal and Pestle / Spice Grinder
Directions
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Measure all dry spice mix ingredients and put them into a small bowl
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Preheat the pan on medium-high heat, and then toast the dry spices until fragrant (around 30 seconds)
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Return the spices to a bowl, and then grind them with the spice grinder (or mortal and pestle) into a powder
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Mince the garlic and ginger and put them into a small bowl with the mustard and peanut butter
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Put the spice mixture, wet spices, milk, and yogurt into the blender and blend them until they are a smooth paste
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Set the spice paste aside into a bowl.
(Note: This is not what it will look like. It will be thicker and the spices will be more incorporated) -
Dice the half onion and cook it with a bay leaf in the pan on medium heat until it is translucent, several minutes
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Drain the can of diced tomatoes, and add them, chili powder, salt, and pepper to the pan. Cook for several more minutes
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Add the chopped mushrooms and spice mixture to the pan. Simmer covered for 15 minutes
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Once done cooking, add the lime juice, salt, and black pepper to taste
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Serve over rice, dosas, or idli
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RE: A Sentence A Day (August-September 2020)
Helios - July 19, 2020
If a monster catches you in the night, you will almost certainly die.
If a monster being chased by two Knights Clairvoyant catches you in the night, you will almost certainly die, and the monster might too.
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A Meal Fit for a Knight Valiant: Bitterroot Beef Stew and Sweet Rolls
Hello! And welcome to another episode of Cooking with Kalo! Today we will be making a special dish from the heart of the Dawnlands, bitterroot beef stew. This meal is a mainstay of Helian cuisine, common throughout every county of Helios.
But before we dig in, let's take a moment to talk about our sponsor...
RECIPE
Bitterroot Tea
- 1/2 tsp (4 g) Ground Coffee
- 1/2 tsp (4 g) Yerba Mate
- 1 Star Anise
- 4 fl oz (120 ml) Hot Water
Marinade
- 1 tsp (2.5 ml) Salt
- 1/2 tsp (2.5 ml) Onion Powder
- 1/2 tsp (2.5 ml) Black Pepper
- 4 fl oz (120 ml) Bitterroot Tea
- 1 clove Minced Garlic
- 1 tsp (2.5 ml) Lemon Juice
- 1 tsp (2.5 ml) Mustard
- 1 tsp (2.5 ml) Honey
- 2 tbsp (30 ml) Worcestershire Sauce
- 2 tbsp (30 ml) Red Wine
- 2 tbsp (30 ml) Olive Oil
Stew
- 1 lb (0.5 kg) Chuck Beef Steak
- 2 Carrots
- 4 Potatoes
- 3 Chives
- 4 stalks Celary
- 1 Yellow Onion
- 2 tbsp Butter
- 1.5 tbsp (12 g) Flour
- 3 oz (90 g) Tomato Paste
- 3 cups (700 ml) Beef Broth
- 1/2 cup (120 ml) Red Wine
- 2 tbsp (30 ml) Worcestershire Sauce
- 4 oz (120 ml) Bitterroot Tea
Sweet Rolls
- 1/2 cup (120 ml) Milk
- 1/2 cup (225 g) Sugar
- 1.5 tsp (8.5 g) Salt
- 1/4 cup (55 g) Butter, melted
- 5 tsp (14 g) Yeast
- 2 Eggs, beaten
- 4.5 cups (540 g) All-Purpose Flour
- More butter to coat surfaces
- Even more butter to melt and coat the rolls
- I'm not kidding, this uses a lot of butter.
- Jam or honey to accompany
Wheat Beer
- Not to be discussed in this post. Check the brewing laws in your jurisdiction
- Or just do what I did and buy some from the nearby liquor store
Equipment
- 12" Cast Iron Skillet, or any skillet you have
- Instant Pot, or a large pot over the stovetop
- Small cooking pot
- Cutting Board and Knives
- Measuring Cups
- Small bowls for pre-measured ingredients
- Large Bowl
- Mixing Spoon
- Large Baking Pan
Directions
Marinade
- Begin brewing the Bitterroot Tea by steeping the ingredients in hot water (80°C / 175°F) for at least 5 minutes.
- Cube the chuck steak into equal sized 1" (2.5cm) chunks.
- Measure marinade ingredients into small bowls.
- Combine all ingredients in a gallon sized plastic bag, turn several times until the beef is evenly coated, and then let sit overnight in the fridge.
Stew
- Cube the potatoes, celery and carrots into roughly 1" (2.5 cm) chunks, coarsely chop the onion, and mince the chives. Measure out the flour.
- Melt butter into the skillet.
- Cook the marinated beef with the marinade, onion, and flour until the beef has seared. It does not need to be cooked all the way through. It may be helpful to cook in 2 batches so the beef sears rather than steams.
- Place the beef aside into the stew pot.
- Cook the potatoes and onions in the sauce still in the skillet until they start to sear, about 5 minutes. Add the chives and cook until aromatic, less than a minute. Then set all the cooked ingredients aside in the stew pot.
- Pour the beef broth, tomato paste, red wine, Bitterroot Tea, and worcestershire sauce into the stew pot. If using an Instant Pot, cook under pressure for at least half an hour. If using a slow cooker or stovetop, cook for at least 4 hours.
Sweet Rolls
- Bring the milk to a boil in the small pot.
- Add the butter, salt and sugar, and then mix until they have melted fully into the milk. Set aside to cool until it is lukewarm.
- Mix together yeast and warm water in a large bowl until fully dissolved.
- Pour the milk mixture into the large bowl, and stir to combine the mixtures.
- Beat the eggs and then stir them into the mixture.
- Add flour into the bowl one cup at a time, mixing as you go. Beat until smooth. More or less flour may be necessary depending on the humidity. The dough should be elastic and slightly stiff but not dry.
- Place the dough onto a floured board and knead until smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes.
- Butter the inside of a large bowl, then place the dough inside. Turn the dough a few times until it is fully coated in butter. Cover the bowl in a cloth and let rise in a warm place until it has doubled in size, about an hour.
- Butter a large baking pan. Place small balls of dough (about the size of your palm) in the pan, leaving space between them.
- Cover the pan and let the dough rise again until the rolls have doubled in size, another hour. The rolls should be touching.
- Preheat an oven to 350°F (175°C), and then bake the rolls for 20-25 minutes, or until they brown.
- Melt a few tbsp of butter, and then lightly brush the rolls with the melted butter.
- Let the rolls sit for 10 minutes before serving with more butter and your choice of jam or honey.
Serve the sweet rolls and beef stew together. Helian meals are typically served with wheat beer, but other drink options include Culade (a topic for another post, for now just make some of that purple powdered drink) or Bitterroot Tea.
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RE: A Sentence A Day (August-September 2020)
Domoutso - July 22, 2020
The Domoutsans have a rich collection of myths about the creation of the universe. They believe that the universe is an infinite cycle of the birth, death, and rebirth of worlds. Most of their myths are mostly about the last couple of cycles since the memory of each world is lost to chaos over time.
Curiously, Domoutsans believe they only exist as of the current cycle, even though their creator god has existed for many cycles more.
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RE: A Sentence A Day (August-September 2020)
Helios - July 24, 2020
In the 21 SC, a diplomatic expedition was sent out from Helios to Koh. While there are records of them stopping in Isara and other ports in the Candarion Sea, there is no evidence of them ever reaching Bar Hamiri. They are presumed to have died in a shipwreck in the waters east of Hawk's Landing.
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Candarion Tarot Deck
I will be creating a Candarion themed tarot deck. I still need suggestions so feel free to comment!
The Fool - Kisaevin
The Magician - Aiolia
The High Priestess - Miktaban
The Empress
The Emperor - Kryizon
The Hierophant - Martoise
The Lovers
The Chariot - SMSC
Justice
The Hermit - Domoutso
Wheel of Fortune - Koh
Strength - Helios
The Hanged Man - Sogadar
Death
Temperance
The Devil
The Tower - Oniganche
The Star - Teltebhann
The Moon - Inoa Ranas
The Sun - Anaetyr
Judgement - Baungrvuor
The World - Arcos -
The Final Journey of La Barca de Maximilla, Part 1
Written by @Loric, edited by @Kalo
The high noon sun beat down upon the ocean as waves crashed on the hull of a mighty caravel. The vessel was Calledonian, built to withstand even the most terrifying of storms with its lacquered white oak framed with Calledonian spruce. Her masts presented high in the sky, and as the ship strode they pushed the world to its side. The crew moved, adjusting the vessel’s lateen sails, tying her ropes, and navigating the waters, and they chanted to the prayers of the sea.
The ship itself had seen its fair share of the world’s various oceans. She had traveled to the ends of Candarion, from the rich and dense lands of Helios to the pristine prismarine shores of Koh. The vessel was called La Barca de Maximilla. All good things must come to an end, though, as her final voyage had been set. It was determined that she would sail from Obrexia to Koh as a commercial trading vessel for the Calledonian government. The maintenance had become too high to keep the ship for profitable commercial use. After this final trip, she was to be scuttled and set adrift off the shores between Koh and Sucia.
“¡Captain! You better come out ‘ere quick,” shouted the deckhand entering into the captain’s quarters.
“¿What is it, boy?” the captain questioned, furrowing his brow and rubbing his index finger into his temple as he examined several maps and documents on his cartographer table.
“The sky is… odd, Señor. It just recently settled in and it has the rest of the crew unsettled,” the deckhand replied.
“Alright then, boy. I’ll be out soon ¡Though, It better not be anything else or else it’ll be your head on the bowsprit!” the captain said. The deckhand stepped out of the cabin. The captain gathered his papers, rolled them up, and inserted them in a cabinet under his desk. He opened the only door outside from his cabin and stepped out onto the quarterdeck. He then strode down and passed the ship’s steering wheel to the main deck to join the rest of the crew. They all stood motionless, staring at the horizon.
Once the captain finally got a glimpse of the sky he stood in place, mesmerized. It was infected with an elegant mauve and sangria color that swirled into each other, mixed together, and seeped into the fabrics of the sky. The stars that had begun to twinkle in the wake of the falling sun shone as tiny amethyst gems in the violet sky. The captain had never seen a sight so captivating and fair in all of the dozens of years that he had spent in the sea. His moment of bewilderment did not last, and the murmurings and whispers of the crew made its way to his captain’s ears.
Hearing the worries of the crew, the captain tried to calm their suspicions, “ Come on men, we’re only days away from Koh, this sky isn’t an indication of anything.”
“¿Have you seen this before, Captain?” a deckhand in the crowd questioned.
“Well, not this specific sky no, but I’ve seen plenty of colored skies. This one just happens to be a new one,” the captain said. “Now, let’s get back to it. If some of you still have concerns, settle them. If anything, it’s probably just a minor storm over the horizon. Nothing we can’t handle.”
The captain ordered his men to their quarters and left only a handful of men on top of the main deck to watch over the ship through the night. As the last sliver of the sun began to fade away from view, the men made their way into their quarters. The captain, who was still staring at the sky, stood next to the hatch as the men entered. The last man in line, the navigator of the ship, placed his hand on top of the captain’s shoulder before entering.
“¿Castille, are you sure about this? These are conditions that I don’t think we’ve, and that includes you, seen anything like before. Let alone traversed,” Anselmo whispered.
“I’m confident in my ability to lead as I am confident in your ability to know where we’re going,” Castille replied. Anselmo stood in place while still maintaining his grip on the captain’s shoulder. He paused and looked at the captain for a second and went back downstairs into the lower decks. Castille followed but looked back at the mysterious sky.
As the boat slowly drifted into the midnight abyss, the rudder underneath the hull began to creep to the left. An underwater current pushed the reinforced wood panels. Over a few hours, the boat had drifted off course, and the sailors that were on the decks were all asleep. No one was left to attend to the ship. A sudden thunder strike boomed, and after it, came a heavy storm that rocked the boat from its starboard side to its port side. The crew, including the captain, awoke due to the storm. Several deckhands and merchants tried to make their way onto the deck to inspect the scene.
As they attempted to exit the hatch, a wave the size of a mighty oak attacked the ship from portside. A large jet of water pushed the crew back into the lower deck. The captain pushed through the men gathered around the hatch and made his way out onto the main deck. The rain hit Castille’s cheeks as if they were small pebbles. When he scanned around the deck to see signs of any crew attending to the ship, he saw no one.
Being alert, he screamed at the crew to quickly angle the sails in order to get out of the storm,“¡Get your asnos out here now!”
Many of the crew made their way over to the sails and struggled to untie the knots that were attached to the iron juts. The captain made his way over the wheel but when he tried to take control, he could not steer it no matter the amount of force he applied. The rudder had been taken over. The raging waters of the storm controlled the ship now.
In the middle of the struggle, another bolt of lightning struck the mainmast of the caravel. As the bolt split down the center of the mast, the log shouted out wood splinters. The metal rims that warped around it groaned, and a loud crash boomed across the deck. Several crew members attending the ropes near the mast fell as wooden spikes shot into their bodies. Their blood seeped into the grain of the wood. One deckhand standing next to the captain had been struck by the wooden shrapnel of the blast, and a large splinter stuck out from his neck. He went over to the captain and fell to his knees. He grabbed the captain by his skirt and begged for help, but blood rapidly filled his throat. The deckhand’s plea soon was drowned out by the gurgling of his own blood. He collapsed lifeless onto the captain’s legs.
A distant wave began approaching the rocking caravel from its fore. It had the height of a mighty spruce tree, and the strength of a thousand lions. As the captain was trying to take back the wheel, he looked ahead through the intense storm and spotted the faint silhouette of the wave. He screamed, “¡Brace for impact!” But his cries were of no use, as his screams were muffled by the intense winds that traveled across the deck. The devastating wave charged into the boat heading. It roared loudly and held the boat in its grip for what the crew felt was an eternity. As the wave had traveled across the ship, it had taken in its grasp four people who were trying desperately to angle the bowsprit sail. Though they tried to grab onto any hold they could find, the wave overpowered them. Not long after they were taken, they were already drowning in the deep vast waters of the ocean.
The captain retreated back to the quarterdeck and made his way into the captain’s cabin. He quickly shut the door behind him and screamed in tearful agony. The boat rocked from side to side, and several objects in the cabin were sent flying. A cast iron frying pan fell from the wall above the door, and dealt a swift blow to the captain’s head. The captain’s sobs came to an abrupt halt, and he fell motionless on the cabin floor.
Latest posts made by Kalo
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RE: Mansquid Rank Ascension (Knight-> Baron)
The Lore Ministry approves.
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RE: Sen7ence A Day (April 2021)
April 26th, 2021
Domoutsans are generally distrustful of the sea and sea-travel. This fear stems partly from the origin myth of the Domoutsan people that their ancestors arrived to the island by shipwreck. Though, the erratic violent storms in the region gives credibility to the superstition.
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RE: The Orcish Bloodrite
Love all the lore you've written so far. Keep it up!
What would happen if the second refuses to commit suicide?
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RE: Astronomy of Candarion
Unless anyone has any last minute contributions, I am willing to accept this as the final arrangement and description of planets in the Candarion system.
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RE: Astronomy of Candarion
That sounds cool! Most this stuff is irrelevant to any of our lore, but why not have a captured exoplanet in our solar system. I like the idea.
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RE: Astronomy of Candarion
I suppose it's a matter of semantics. As far as the tech, telescopes are somewhat complicated devices and require specific advancements in glass making for the lenses. I am not entirely opposed to telescopes because
magic
, but I would advise against anything later than Galileo for thematic reasons.
For a lot of cultures through history, the planets were just as you said - wandering stars. I don't care particularly much how your realm interprets what they see. Do they consider them fundamentally different than the other stars? That's fine. Are they just weird moving dots? Also fine.
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RE: Astronomy of Candarion
As Beiji said, the 5 closest planets are easily observed and distinguishable from stars using the naked eye. In fact, the word planet comes from the ancient Greek planētēs ‘wanderer, planet’.
There won't be any lore conflicts with the above suggestion.
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RE: Bastards of Eek-Wai Take Two: Gimpfried
Awesome application! Glad to see you all apply here.
3/5
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RE: Gestelmore's Application (See The Bastards of Eek-Wai)
Solid work! I'll give you my vote.
3/5